These are the secrets I’ve been keeping!
By Travis Wade
After watching an episode of “Oprah,” my mom shared a philosophy she heard on the show. She said that everything we do is for our ego.
“No mom,” I said, “Not skydiving. Skydiving is not for the ego. It’s just amazing.”
“It is for your ego,” she replied, “If you really think about it, it’s for your ego.”
I thought about it and, after a while, I began to believe she was right. A lot of bragging rights go along with skydiving. That realization brought on an identity crisis. As a result, I had to examine my own philosophy. I stopped being as adventurous as I’d been. Now, if you’ve seen my Facebook, you know what a thrill-seeker I am. Unfortunately, that all stopped for quite a while following my mom’s comments.
A little later, I went to a weekend summit with a lineup of great people. John Sinclair, Derek Price, Kevin Murray, and Jeff Aker were the hosts; all of whom are highly regarded trainers. I enjoyed a weekend full of fun and learning with a group of wise men and women.
As one day of the summit was coming to an end, Caitlin Thola, another skillful trainer, helped me with some relaxation techniques. Following the summit, I immediately booked an appointment with her.
The good news is, my appointment with Caitlin clarified my thoughts. I told her about the philosophy my mom had shared with me and how it made me feel empty, bummed, and that I’d lost my lust for life. In response, Caitlin shared a variation of that philosophy with me:
Caitlin said, “You either do things for your ego, or you do them for love; it’s your choice.”
I left feeling rejuvenated!
Then, I discovered Brene Brown. Now, if you haven’t heard her Ted Talk, about vulnerability, it’s well worth a listen. In it, she explains that vulnerability isn’t comfortable. Though we like to avoid it – it’s necessary. Also, she mentions at one point that we’re all here for connection. She believes:
Connection is why we breathe;
it’s why we get up in the morning, and
it’s what makes us tick.
After hearing that, I thought about her philosophy – it was so cool. It wasn’t even the main topic of her talk (which is also really profound). In short, whether we do things for our ego or for love, in both cases, we are really doing it for connection. We want to be liked and admired, and we want to connect with people who believe in the same things as us, think like us, and live life like us.
What’s more, Brene’s philosophy talks about how vulnerability helps us connect with others. She talks about how in order to have or show vulnerability, we must have confidence. It takes courage to display your vulnerability. In the end, that’s the difference between people who have great connections and those who don’t; it comes down to confidence.
My Philosophy is the Source of My Confidence
The question is, how do you gain confidence? Now, I can’t speak for others but fitness has worked amazingly well for me. I think it’s pretty badass to be 47 and have abs. Better still, my philosophy on health and fitness has lead me to be in better shape than most 20 year-olds. I’m not trying to stroke my ego, I’m just pointing out some of the sources of my confidence.
That being said, I’ve not just seen it in myself but in others as well. The fitness industry creates people who are beautiful on the inside and out. Sure, people get thinner, stronger, faster, and more muscular, as well as achieving all kinds of physical feats. However, it really produces so much more – including the boost in endorphins (and better mood it produces), a community of like-minded people that help each other, and overall confidence and self-esteem. That’s where true sexiness comes from.
I once read about an experiment where people were given equal sums of money. One group was instructed to buy something for themselves. The other group was instructed to buy something for someone else. I’m sure you can guess which group received more enjoyment from the experiment. I don’t remember the exact results but, as you can imagine, the group that spent money on someone else was much happier with their purchase.
Time is money, my friends. So, if you’ve never experienced the joy of volunteering, I highly recommend giving it its day in court. Let’s spread the love. Studies show there is nothing sexier than altruism – do you suppose that’s because of the amazing confidence it instills?
Build your confidence, show your vulnerability, and build amazing connections! It doesn’t have to be scheduled volunteering, it can be just random acts of kindness or just being there for someone else.
Health and Fitness is Part of My Philosophy
Personally, I believe health and fitness is a huge part of this equation. That’s why it’s one of my core values. If you ever want help with your health, happiness, and fitness, please drop me a line. I am more than happy to help out when I can.
One last thing… I heard a podcast where a doctor was talking about joy. She said doing things that create joy also contribute to our happiness. So seize the moment. Go skydiving! You’ll love it!
I wish you lots of health, love and happiness!
The only holistic personal trainer in Edmonton