I have to tell you guys a story that had a profound effect on my life. My mom watched an episode of “Oprah” one day, and then told me about a philosophy. She said that everything we do is for our ego. I said, “No mom, not skydiving. Skydiving is not for the ego; it’s amazing”. She said, “It is for your ego. If you really think about it, it’s for your ego.”
I thought about it, and after a while I thought she was right. I went through a really hard time after that. I stopped being so adventurous for a while. If you’ve seen my Facebook, you know how adventurous I am. That all stopped for quite a while.
I went to a weekend summit with great people; John Sinclair, Derek Price, Kevin Murray, and Jeff Aker were the hosts. All great trainers by the way. I had a great weekend of fun and learning with a great group. Caitlin Thola, another great trainer, was also there and she helped me with relaxation at the end of the day and I booked an appointment with her after that.
When I went for my appointment with Caitlin, she turned everything around for me. I told her about the philosophy my mom told me about and how it made me feel empty and bummed and how I lost my lust for life. She told me about another philosophy. She said you either do things for your ego, or you do them for love; it’s your choice.
I left feeling rejuvenated.
Then I discovered Brene Brown. If you haven’t heard her Ted Talk, it’s worth a listen. Her talk is about Vulnerability. She talks about how vulnerability is not comfortable and how we like to avoid it, but how it’s necessary. She casually mentions at some point how we are all here for connection. She says it’s why we breath, it’s why we get up in the morning, it’s what makes us tic.
I thought about it. It was so cool. It wasn’t even the main topic of her talk, (which was also really profound). Whether we do things for our ego or for love, in both cases we are really doing it for connection. We want to be liked and admired.
She talks about how vulnerability is necessary for connection and to have or show vulnerability you have to have confidence. Sometimes it takes courage to show your vulnerability. That’s the difference between people that have great connections and the ones that don’t. It comes down to confidence.
How do you get confidence? I can’t speak for others but what has worked amazingly well for me is fitness. I think it’s pretty badass to be 44 and have abs. I’m in better shape than most 20 year olds. I’m not trying to stroke my ego, I’m just trying to point out what gives me my confidence and the source.
I’ve seen it not just for me but for others as well. The fitness industry creates people that are beautiful on the inside and out. People get thinner, stronger, build muscle, get faster, and all kinds of great things physically, but it does so much more from the endorphins, to building a community of people helping each other, and over all the confidence it builds. That’s where your true sexiness comes from.
Now I have to tell you about an experiment I read about where they gave people a sum of money and had one group buy themselves something. They had the other group buy something for someone else. I’m sure you can guess which group got more enjoyment out of the experiment. I don’t remember exact results, but as you can imagine, the group that spent money on someone else was much happier with their purchase.
Time is money my friends. If you’ve never experienced the joy of volunteering, I highly recommend giving it a day in court. Let’s spread the love my friends. Studies show there is nothing sexier than altruism. Maybe because of the amazing confidence it builds.
Build your confidence and show your vulnerability and build amazing connections!
I believe health and fitness is a huge part of this and that's why it's one of my core values. If you ever want help with your health, happiness, and fitness; please drop me a line. I am more than happy to help out when I can.
I hope you liked the article. If you did, share it with friends. These are the types of issues I deal with daily with my clients in order to accomplish their fitness goals. I believe in a coach like approach and I help guide my clients to do the things they deem relevant for them and they are seeing really great results. For me the reward is the happiness it creates and seeing the new found confidence in people. WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO PERSONALLY SHOW YOU HOW YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOUR FITNESS GOALS ...FOR FREE?
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